Obama is my Ex-Wife

The other day I was contemplating our national state of affairs while sipping a beer at my local VFW. Somewhere amidst the swirling smoke emanating from cigarettes and the hamburgers sizzling on the grill it occurred to me that our President and my ex-wife have a lot in common.

Promises made but not kept - Too many to mention here, but here’s a good one: “Forsaking all others”. Remember that line from traditional marriage vows? Yeah, three months after she uttered that line she was screwing a guy in her squadron behind my back. Sort of like Obama and the union bosses/far left activists/Democratic party leadership cavorting behind closed doors after promising “the most transparent administration” ever.

Complete lack of fiscal responsibility – I paid off approximately $5000 in credit card bills in a year. All hers (I didn’t have a credit card then, and still don’t). Debt that I did not accrue. And I did it with my own money, not hers. What was my thanks? She kept piling on debt, expecting me to pay for it. Sound familiar, America?

It’s someone else’s fault – My ex actually thought that I would buy into the idea that her wanting a divorce was my fault with no actual logic provided. She couldn’t tell me why it was my fault, she could only tell me that it was my fault (while denying that she was having an affair). Sounds like a certain President we all know who keeps telling us it’s all Bush’s fault (while satisfying the needs of the unions).

Excuses, excuses - “I can’t make height/weight because I’ve had two kids.” No, you couldn’t make height/weight because you don’t do an iota of PT and eat large quantities of fatty foods. Sort of like, “We can’t cut the deficit because the mean Republicans want to kill old people and starve children.” No, we can’t cut the deficit because you are beholden to the entitlement class and special interests that put you in office.

Which brings to the one that irks me to no end:

“It’s for the children” – At one point, I had purchased one of those large assortments of frozen meat from the guys that roll around with a chest freezer in the back of their truck. You know, a few hundred pounds of pork, chicken, seafood, and steak. Again, paid for out of my account, not hers, although she certainly didn’t mind noshing on it. When I moved out, I took the prime cuts of beef that were still left and a few other odds and ends. I left the things like the chicken strips, chicken breasts, hamburgers and shrimp. My ex had a fit, accusing me of taking food from the mouths of her children. Sorry, lady, but the last time I checked their 6- and 8-year old palates hadn’t developed a taste for filet mignon. Not to mention I was CONUS taking care of them while she was deployed and screwing around. Evidently I’m some kind of child abuser because I needed food for my new apartment and took what I bought and knew the kids wouldn’t eat. Likewise, every time I hear anyone in this administration try to justify some asinine expenditure because “it’s for the children” I want to scream. No, it’s not “for the children” and we all know it. It’s to satisfy the pockets of the teacher’s unions and special interest groups, just like my ex wanted those filet mignons for her own fat ass.

Hopefully 2012 will give us the divorce we so desperately need.

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